They Haven’t Won
Why people who enjoy external success, despite lacking integrity, haven’t actually won.
Trump, Bezos, Musk, Zuckerburg, Netanyahu — but those are just the most obvious examples. It’s also your shitty coworker, toxic acquaintance, or cruel family member. It may seem like people who lack integrity, openly lie, cheat, and steal, have won — and the truth is most people who act with harm and malicious intent don’t ever see earthly justice. But I assure you, they haven’t won.
When someone acts without integrity and succeeds in the external sense (money, promotions, validation, fans, a following), it’s built on a crumbling foundation.
If you don’t believe me, watch the video for the moment the sun haloes my gorgeous hair; it’s the celestial beings whispering to you, “SHE’S RIIIIIIGHT. LISSSTEN TO HER.”
Scroll down for the short and sweet video, the full-length video, the audio-only version, and a text transcript - pick your poison!
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They Haven’t Won - the short video!
They Haven’t Won - the full version!
They Haven’t Won - the audio version!
They Haven’t Won - the text transcript!
I want to talk about integrity, how we see justice, equity, and fairness play out in the world, and how the world actually seems pretty unfair when you get right down to it.
The older I get, the more I realize the world is built on injustice after injustice, oppression, exploitation, human rights violations, and environmental disaster.
There is such a profound lack of integrity in the human world, especially because we are conscious and have a choice. Animals are somewhat hemmed in by biological behavior. We've all agreed their consciousness is limited as compared to ours. And here we are — human beings with this infinite and incredible potential for consciousness — and we don't use it.
It can really feel like people like Donald Trump and Elon Musk have won. And they're just like a catch-all for any number of people in incredible positions of power who have vast sums of money, who seem to fail upward, who clearly and intentionally wish to do harm, who may occasionally, maybe even accidentally do good things or maybe even intentionally do good things. But by and large, their success is built on the pain and suffering of other people. It can really feel like they've won. I mean, literally, Donald Trump won the presidency of the United States of America.
While I haven't acted without integrity on a large scale like these people have. I have had moments that have lacked integrity. I've had a lot of moments that have lacked integrity throughout my life. A lot of that does come from my trauma. You can look at the stories of Donald Trump and Elon Musk and their families and their fathers. And you can see the distortion and the trauma and the suffering enacted on them and how they're enacting that on the world.
They've risen to the top, and it’s still not enough. It still hasn't filled that hole in their heart, and now they’re causing more pain and suffering to get someplace where they won't feel that darkness inside. And it's just it's not going to happen the way they're going about it.
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I was similar. I had an emotionally abusive parent and many dark years that I went through, and that caused me to do a lot of shady, not-great things. And I still have to live with those things.
So, I just want to say when someone acts without integrity and succeeds in the external sense, they have money, promotions, validation, fans, a following — anything that makes them seem like they are thriving — that is built on a crumbling foundation. The truth is, so many people who act without integrity, with harm and malicious intentions, don't ever see earthly justice.
And, unfortunately, we have no idea what happens in the afterlife. Nobody can guarantee justice will come then. I think we've told ourselves these stories about an afterlife and this kind of justice to make ourselves feel better for the grotesque injustices we've seen throughout human history. I think it's like a salve. It's like a balm for the soul to believe that, “Okay, there's no justice here on Earth, or there's very little justice, or justice is rare, but there will be justice in the afterlife.”
I think that's perfectly fine to believe. It's not harming anyone unless you're not actually working to bring these perpetrators to justice on Earth. But I can tell you something with a little bit more guarantee from my personal experiences, but also from what I see:
There is no one who is living and acting out in a way that is harmful, in a way that is without integrity, in a way that creates undue and unnecessary suffering, that isn't also suffering themselves.
That's on their soul. Whatever behaviors you do that are not morally righteous and courageous and for the greater good, they are on your soul, and you actually have to live with them. And the punishment for that is being yourself. So, Donald Trump's punishment is being Donald Trump. Elon Musk's punishment is being Elon Musk. There is not one thing that you could tempt me with in Donald Trump's life — not one thing.
You can't tempt me with his money, his pretty wife, his family, his relationships with his children, his golden toilets. I have no interest in taking on one of those things in exchange for the utter dearth in his soul, and that is something that he has to reckon with. That is true of anyone without integrity. I know that someone sitting on top of a literal pile of money, having super yachts, having glittering parties with movie stars may seem like they have truly won.
Like they made it! They did it! And maybe they even sleep at night. They might even be like, “I sleep fine at night.” But you can tell by their behavior that they are driven by an unmoored darkness inside themselves. And so they have not won.
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There were times in my life when I was just not at peace with myself, and my punishment for that was being myself. There was no justice that came down. The justice was the internal strife I had. And there would often be justice in go figure in interpersonal relationships. But then I had other people who were friends or other ways that I succeeded purely. I changed because I felt that discord in my system and my soul. That's what actually compelled me to change more than external justice.
What does it mean to have integrity? It’s an ongoing battle. That's something I've realized as I've made choices that have integrity. It often means self-sacrifice. It doesn't mean you never get any reward, but usually, your first instinct would not be to have integrity because your first instinct is always to self-preservation, and that's fine. That's normal. That's a healthy human survival tool.
Integrity goes beyond survival, and it thinks of consciousness, the greater good, community, society, and your role in it. You might actually be losing something. You might actually be putting yourself at risk. The truth is, when you act with integrity, there are always gains. First of all, your soul is at peace with itself, which is the biggest game.
But I have actually found that every time I've acted with integrity, put myself at risk, and been fearful, there was a longer-term gain. When I've made choices with integrity, I've upset people who don't have integrity and risked my livelihood or my job — and that's always been incredibly scary. But what I've ended up finding out from that is that people who I want to work with, people who also have integrity, people who also care about consciousness and the greater good and the nature of their soul, they want to work with me.
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I really want you to start looking at these people who are causing harm, look at the nature of their lives, and start to understand how they do not have won. Now, that doesn't mean we don't try to stop them. That doesn't mean we let them tread over our human rights or the human rights of our neighbors and friends and community and society at large.
That's absolutely unacceptable. And in fact, the integrity there is that we must self-sacrifice and fight. We must expend money, resources, time, and energy — and even put ourselves at risk — to defend these people. That's what integrity looks like. That is what we are constantly, compassionately called to do in large and small ways. You could do it just within your office or within your home.
Just because someone is already losing by lacking consciousness, soul, and integrity does not mean you don't still fight.
